Avengers: Infinity War

Release Date: April 27th, 2018

….

Am I the only one who hated this movie? Not including you, Tom Holland.

Ok, I am doing one blanket SPOILER ALERT. I warn you… if you haven’t watched Infinity War yet and plan too and don’t want any major or minor events ruined, please stop reading now. You have been officially warned.

The first hour and a half of this film was spent introducing us to all of the characters. There are well over 20 superheroes in this movie, and almost impressively they all get some sort of development. Yet, by the time we realized who was in this movie, it was more than half over. Really, they should have called it Avengers: How many superheroes are there now?!

I have to stop and list all of the superheros in this because it’s a little ridiculous.
Iron Man
Spiderman
Dr. Strange
Wong
Thor
Loki
The Hulk
Black Widow
Vision
The Scarlet Witch
Steve Rodgers/Captain America
Bucky
Falcon
Rhodey
Peter Quill
Groot
Rocket
Drax
Mantis
Gamora
Nebula
King T’Challa
Okoye
Shuri

Besides the fact that the majority of the film feels like an introduction it is also mostly one long, extended battle sequence. Diegetically speaking, the plot line is so scarce of depth that it’s almost as if it’s happening in real-time, minus the bathroom breaks.

Infinity War centers around Thanos, bringer of death and destruction and “played” by Josh Brolin. He wants the infinity stones to wipe out half the planet’s population and he proceeds to get them all. The point is for ALL of the heroes (and I say all because there are at least 23 superheroes in this, right?) to stop him. They try, some with magic axes, some with reprogramming their brains, but they all fail and HALF OF THEM DIE. What even is that?

I may joke about a movie killing all the characters and being like “Oh that’s the end”, but I don’t want it to actually happen! I mean obviously they aren’t “dead” they are going to be saved in the inevitable sequel that will be release next year. What’s that you say? Sounds like a sleazy way to get another 10-20 dollars out of us? Yeah, I agree.

This movie should really have been prefaced as a part 1. Yet, what is worse is that all Marvel movies lately are becoming too involved. Wherein you have to watch all of the prequels of all of the character’s movies that come before.

I’ve seen at least a third of the marvel movies. I’m a nonchalant fan…I’ve seen all the Captain Americas. But this movie would have made much more sense if I had watched all 18 of the movies of all of the characters the nightweek month before. Or at least 10 to make the movie make the most sense.

The problem then is for the casual fan. When the guy sitting next to me said, “Aw, fuck!” after seeing who was under the cape before Thanos threw his daughter off a cliff, I was confused.

But confusion wasn’t the only feeling I felt. Anger. Lots of anger. You don’t kill everyone. The bad guy doesn’t win. You don’t watch Spiderman cling to Ironman for life before dissolving into dust. Anger….and some tears.

In typical superhero movie fashion, the good guys face the bad guys and the bad guys win. I guess this wasn’t trying to be typical…at least not until next May.

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