Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Release Date: June 22nd, 2018

This movie is exactly what you would expect of the 4th sequel to Jurassic Park.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom begs the question is the only way to make a sequel to a movie about a theme park of dinosaurs a movie about bad guys stealing the dinosaurs and bringing them to America?

Think The Lost World: Jurassic Park, but swap Vince Vaughn and Julianne Moore (yes they were in that) with Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard. And there you go.

I mean it wasn’t terrible. It was entertaining and thrilling watching dinosaurs try, and accomplish eating people, but the whole thing was ridiculous.

I couldn’t even get behind the driving force of the film which was to save the dinosaurs from extinction (again). Isn’t the point of these movies to drill into people how bad an idea it is to have dinosaurs be alive? Yet, Claire and her millennial team are fighting for dinosaurs rights.

The same Claire, who only referred to the dinos as “assets” in the first film. Somehow after almost being eaten a bunch of times, her heart was warmed to these lovable, toothy creatures.

As I hinted at before the plot line isn’t very original. Bad guys trick Claire (played by Bryce Dallas Howard, Owen (played by Chris Pratt), and some new faces, Franklin (played by Justice Smith, and Zia (played by Daniella Pineda) into helping them steal the dinosaurs off Isla Nublar before the island explodes from a volcano. Don’t worry! The dino/human stampede off the island is in the film, complete with hot lava and hot Chris Pratt.

I really think the writers and producers were aware of Chris Pratt’s newly single status and really wanted to highlight his hunkiness in this movie. It’s like a GD dating profile.

  1. He’s good looking…we get it.
  2. He builds log cabins in the woods with his bare hands. Like that was probably his personal tool belt.
  3. He’s funny and sort-of-a child, but what woman doesn’t want a man she can’t fix.
  4. He’s good with kids and baby raptors. And we know because we are shown at least 4 videos of him interacting with baby Blue.
  5. He’s smart, he has a plan, and he gets the bad guy/dinosaur.
  6. The little girl in the film could care less about Claire, but she immediately bonds with Owen and runs up and gives him a hug. Like, yes girl, I wanna be in his arms too!

Anywho…. the bad guys *SPOILER ALERT* want to sell the dinosaurs as weapons so they bring them back to a forested mansion in America to auction them off. Great idea and so realistic! The owner of the estate happens to be a former friend of Jurassic Park founder, John Hammond. The real villain is Eli, the handsome, charming man who manages his estate.

Naturally, chaos ensues. *SPOILER ALERT* The new big-bad, created in a lab, dino gets out and hunts people down. Ridiculously, the fighting ends with a rooftop chase and Blue (the velociraptor) fighting for humankind alongside her (Daddy?) Owen and Claire.

The idea of #dinorights comes back into play at the conclusion of the film when their survival is in question again. I’m not sure if they were going for some sort of metaphor with this story-line, but you should never free dinosaurs. They eat people.

Even though this plot was laughable, people will never stop watching these movies. It may have had writing like a Sharknado movie, but it’s still well done, great visual effects, well acted, and based off of characters we love.

Jeff Goldblum’s cameo may have been shorter than I expected, but it’s probably the most important piece of information in the film. I would have paid better attention if the woman in front of me hadn’t brought her 4-year-old to see Jurassic World, but the gist is that the dinosaurs could very well destroy our world, aka Fallen Kingdom.

I wonder how they will continue this story in the next film. Maybe they are following Dr. Ian Malcolm’s theory.

Man creates dinosaur, dinosaur eats man…

…..woman inherits the earth.

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